The Republic of Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 58 is a colossal, safe nation, remarkable for its state-planned economy, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 5.954 billion Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 58ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 44.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but stagnant Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 58ian economy, worth 55.9 trillion baht a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Tourism, Retail, Cheese Exports, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 9,395 baht, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 58's national animal is the fox.

Pineapple Belongs on Pizza 58 is ranked 147,768^th in the world and 3,687^th in the Rejected Realms for Most Patriotic, with 9.37 flags saluted per person per day.